Excuse me while I love me!
Before becoming a life coach, I was always searching for something and I genuinely thought it could only be found outside myself. It never occurred to me that I could find it inside.
You see, I was never taught the fundamental importance of loving oneself. My parents couldn’t teach me this because they were never taught it themselves. Neither the school nor my environment taught me this valuable lesson either.
Instead, I learned to care for and forgive others, to be kind, and show love and compassion to others. Never in my life was I taught to treat myself that way. I struggled with depression and even tried ending my life at one point. I had a hard time loving, accepting, and forgiving myself. I struggled with devastatingly low self-esteem and confidence for over ten years.
I had to find it the hard way
At age ten I became physically disabled after suffering from brain damage caused by an autoimmune illness that took over my ability to breathe.
The brain damage gave me an entirely new life that I never asked for. I suddenly had to rely on a wheelchair. My speech was slowed, and my motor skills were inhibited. Every part of my body was affected.
When I was sixteen, I was always in the background while boys would go past me to ask my friends out on dates. At eighteen when everyone had dates for prom, no one asked me to go with them. I blamed my wheelchair. I blamed myself and hated myself. I hated my body. I hated my wheelchair, and I hated my life. I wanted so badly to be liked, accepted, loved, and desired, that I looked for validation in all the wrong places.
I experimented with drugs because I wanted to fit in. I had a pattern of dating men who were toxic and unavailable. I allowed myself to be used, treated badly, and cheated on. I kept going back to these kinds of men because I had convinced myself I deserved that kind of treatment – who would ever date someone like me? I settled for what my self-esteem and self-confidence were worth at that time. This vicious cycle kept going for years
The love I was searching for was the love I failed to give myself
They say you will continue to make the same mistake until you have learned the lesson it is trying to teach you. After so many repeated mistakes, you start to ask yourself: what is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I keep attracting these kinds of people into my life? I got my question answered and the lesson was finally learned. I was attracting toxic people into my life because I saw no value in myself.
Life was giving me people and situations that matched the vibration and energy of what I was saying to myself! I was receiving exactly what I was putting out into the universe. In finally looking within, I discovered my thinking pattern was the source of my pain. I began to understand what The Law of Attraction was all about. It has taken me almost my entire life to learn that the love I was searching for was the love I failed to give myself.
For once in my life, I saw myself in a light that I had never seen before. I set out to talk to myself kindly, with love and compassion. I started doing positive affirmations. I became more aware of the thoughts that were entering my mind and made a conscious effort to discard the thoughts that were not serving me. I started to notice a difference in my confidence, in the people I was choosing to be around, and the people that I would say no to. I was amazed at how fantastic I felt, and that feeling began to spread throughout all aspects of my life.
Once I started seeing myself in a different light, practicing positive beliefs, and watching what I was saying to myself, I began to understand the power of my mind. I was able to change my life by shifting the thoughts I had about myself. The work is hard, but you do it because you don’t ever want to lose yourself again. Once I understood my old life was costing me dearly, the journey to myself became vital for my physical and mental well-being.
These days you will find me saying “I love you” to myself multiple times a day and beaming with joy each and every time I say those words! You will also find me utterly grateful for my amazing life. There would be no way I would feel this much gratitude for my life if I did not go through what I went through. I am so happy to be here to experience this joy, love, and peace that washes over my life! I make it a point to start my day with gratitude.
I would love for you to come to a point in your life where you are fiercely in love with the person looking back at you in the mirror, and you say “excuse me while I love me”! I can help guide you there with my coaching. My mission is to help women love themselves and see the innate value and worth that they have. Contact me to get your first session for free!